A day of rest

May 29

Shabbat Shalom. This is a phrase that almost every Jew and several non-Jews say in Israel before the Sabbath starts on Friday evening, wishing people a peaceful and restful day. But when I think of how I’ve spent Shabbat in the past, I think of glamorous meals or visiting other homes or Mom’s matzah ball soup. I don’t think I ever imagined spending Shabbat the way I am right now, two weekends in a row.

As I write this in the middle of the night, I am gazing at a picturesque sky filled with stars that seem to be brighter than usual. They can be seen over a horizon line that has multiple armored vehicles of which I am guarding this weekend, while the previous weekend was the tanks. Although it’s really dirty here and extremely hot and there are enough flies to make you go psycho, it is also really peaceful to do Shabbat camping in the desert, the shetach as we call it, and that is what Shabbat is all about. It’s not like this is my first time guarding out here or certainly not spending a night either – trust me, I’ve done that a-plenty. But it’s different on Shabbat because I guess I have time to enjoy it.

The last two weeks were supposed to be a lot of tank training but they turned into a lot of waiting around for our turn. As I previously stated, being in the highest-rated tank isn’t always a good thing. We were far advanced so we had to let others practice to catch up, not to mention we received many new (and great) soldiers from other units that had to start from scratch. This gave me feelings of angst and impatience because I wanted to do the training (it’s much better than the kitchen, my least favorite thing that exists in the army). We waited our turn. And waited. Sometimes they would tease with us it seemed by bringing us to the shetach to the tanks but then wake up only to work on them mechanically rather than have fun and train on them. Let’s just say this is annoying, plain and simple. The first Shabbat through all of this I didn’t want to stay in the shetach. Wouldn’t you rather have air conditioning all day on base instead of 90 degree weather by the time 8 AM rolls around with a swarm of flies on the side? If you answered no, we can talk about that later. But it just felt so free to be lying there with only three other people overlooking a whole world that sounded silent, peaceful.

The second week of (non) training was even hotter – we had to stop because of the heat multiple times. Finally, at the end of the week, it was our turn to do a drill with the tank. I was ecstatic and we told ourselves we had to show everyone, especially the generals, how good we really were and that they were wasting our time, so to speak. This exercise was really fun – we did all sorts of situational firing and attacking, not to mention our first shell, with which our gunner, Mickey, hit the target. We were proud of ourselves and also relieved like all soldiers all – we had made it to Shabbat.

This time, I wanted to be here with my friends in the middle of nowhere making Shabbat rather than still having timed meals or checks that everyone is present. Of course I’d rather be home in the kibbutz, but this place is a good way to feel some freedom after a week of taking commands. I still have to guard, but it isn’t so bad. Shabbat is the day of rest and here, at 4:30 in the morning, I feel free and like I’m putting the hard work from the week behind me. I am a mere three and a half weeks from finishing all of the tank training, being called an official “tankist,” being comat ready, and from finishing something I never thought I’d do or remotely want to do. But it is something I want because even when I stare out and see nothing, I know the land is much more than that and depends on me and my fellow soldiers.