And they're OFF...

December 12

After a very long day three weeks ago I finally arrived at the army base which would be my pseudo-home for many upcoming days. There were a lot of buildings, a lot of tanks, and a lot of sand. Some people were giddy, others in shock…I was plainly taking it all in.

We didn’t sleep much that night after doing necessary paperwork which included requesting which part of the tanks we wanted to be in. My last choice was the one I received, which was strange because I had been “guaranteed” otherwise to be with the two other Garin Tzabar members that I knew. This put me into the shick phase for some brief moments because I was now officially a lone soldier, knowing nobody.

The first week we spent doing random things, learning how to stand correctly, make our rooms, orderly, and how holy time really is in the army. However, it was hard for me to really “enjoy” much because I was focusing my attention on moving to be with two other guys instead of trying to make new friends. By the end of the week I hadn’t yet been moved but was given an opportunity to speak in Tel Aviv to high school students and the mayor about Aliyah. I realized within the week that Aliyah was no longer what it had been at the kibbutz, but a real-life deal with hard moments. I was able to spend Thanksgiving with Allison and Justin and the weekend at the kibbutz clearing my mind. It was time to get back to the grind and enter week two.

It started off with being late (never good in the army), falling and opening up a large, deep cut on my hand on thorns, and sitting in the infirmary wondering why I chose what I was doing. I was…doubting myself. How had I let these negative thoughts enter my mind? I said to myself that the next day I was starting from scratch, no joking this time. The plan worked wonderfully. Everyone found it funny the way I spoke Hebrew (I guess I don’t blame them) and I took the role I thought I would – the spirit-lifter. Anytime anyone would seem tired or depressed, I’d say hi, smile, and get the “David!” screamed in their stereotypical Israeli accents. I would say, “Wake up guys! We are guarding the land of Israel today!” I was giving the moving idea second thoughts.

At the end of the week we received our personal weapons (M-16 m-4) and camped out for two nights. We began learning how to fire them and experience what it’s like to put tents up in the cold and attempt to sleep in those conditions, too. Also we started the mental training of what it’s like to hardly eat anything, get close to no sleep, and still be asked to do all of the physicality of the training. We did our first Masa, journey, of 3 kilometers, a build-up of distance until the big one at the end of all of the training. I was so-so on my M-16, but it felt strangely exciting to have my own gun, even if the responsibility was up there as one of the tops in my life.

We finished the week with a לילה לבן, lilah lavan (“White Night”) where we basically stayed up until 6 AM without prior knowledge doing a lot of random cleaning and pushups. I had more importantly made the decision that I didn’t come to do this for anyone but myself and I was going to stick it out. On Shabbat I realized how right of a decision that was, as spending it on the base made us all much closer. It was quickly on to week three.

We spent almost every hour of it camping out and working on the firing range again. This time was a little different – less food, colder, but actual practice on targets and various styles of shooting. Sure I was exhausted and hungry – but I looked at what I was doing and I was genuinely having a good time. I was even making my commanders laugh behind the scenes with my enthusiasm and yelling of butchered Hebrew, particularly when I do pushups on the side. The other guys and I had a great relationship – I give a positive attitude all the time, laughs, and maturity and they give Hebrew help and friendships. It felt and feels pretty great.

The last day in the “shetach” as it’s called (meaning campground or area) had us practicing something and somewhat realistic – running 100 meters, crawling 10, then another 90 (all with our vests and helmet and gun) then firing four shots from 50 meters…and all within one minute and 45 seconds. This whole week made me begin to feel like the Israeli soldier I was coming here for in the first place. We closed out the week with a 4.5 kilometer masa and a lot of laughs together. Having an American name has made me (in)famous throughout the whole base, especially how I always scream in Hebrew. I even have gotten the generals to crack a smile here and there.

The first three weeks are in the books. My body is continuously sore, I have layers of dirt on my hands I don’t think will ever leave, and I eat anything I get my hands on as if I have never eaten in my life. But there is something the army teaches you which is really neat to see transform and that is that there is a switch you have in your brain that lets you shut out everything except the task at hand. And with that, the army also has taught me to appreciate everything even more – the little food I get, the hours of sleep I receive, and the personal time I have to talk with whomever, shower, and just think. The language barrier has been tough and will continue to be. But at this point, I have a new found confidence in my abilities as a basic soldier and I know that will improve along with the Hebrew. The basic training is halfway done, but the life learning is only beginning – just the way I want it to be.

One Moment - Going to the Army

November 23

“Look. If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?” – Eminem

Everyone remembers the beginnings of some big journeys or adventures. So much anticipation leads up to the big moment, so much so that we sometimes psyche ourselves out with expectations that don’t come to fruition. Feelings of nervousness, excitement, fear, anxiety are all rolled up into one, which is commonly referred to as “The First Day.”

We have all experienced First Days where we felt all of those aforementioned emotions: the first day of kindergarten, starting at a new school, a sport tryout day, the big game, moving to a new city or country, etc. Even if some of those things didn’t give us only positive outcomes, especially immediately, it all ended up being okay. All of the buildup…and then it happens… Now I have a new First Day to the list – the army.

I’ve said before that I couldn’t really imagine myself doing something like this just a few years ago. The army isn’t a fun thing – we’re talking about guns, tanks, canons…and they’re all real. But all of those imaginary thoughts I used to have are about to be thrown away because it’s all about to be super-real.

Israeli children (for the most part) know this day in their lives is imminent, for better or for worse. But there is something special that my other Garin members and I have in common – this is OUR choice. Nobody else’s When I ask myself what I’m doing here, at this moment, I know why – If not me, then who? If not now, when? I could be travelling in Thailand right now. I could be playing soccer in Brazil. It’s my life and I get to choose what I do, and that’s a beautiful thing. I am doing the thing I know best – helping the Jewish people. That’s how I feel.

Sure, I’m scared. Heck, soon I’ll be riding in a tank that can destroy a lot of things. I would also be lying if I didn’t say how excited I am. This is awesome! I get to help protect a land that needs to be here for Jewish generations to come. I get to be a part of that history, that responsibility, and that is a genuinely great feeling.

The times are going to be tough. Everything in my life is changing. I don’t control when I sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom. In addition, personal time to do things like this and write become close to zero. However, what I do control is my positive thoughts and optimistic outlook on everything I’m doing. All I need to do is remember why I came here to do what I’m doing, and I know I won’t have any problems.

I’m taking my best shot at seizing everything I ever wanted. I’m contributing to the land and the people of which I feel a strong connection. There aren’t many things better than that. No regrets. No fears. Focus on what’s at hand and success is destined. Will I capture this moment or just let it slip? This is an opportunity of a lifetime and I feel fortunate to have it. I’m grabbing on – and never letting go. The Israeli army: this is my time – our time.

Combat is the Best - Part 2

November 9

The next week’s workout (October 2) might have possibly had the most different mentality than carrying the telephone pole. We started by going to the room near where we start every time and grabbing sandbags. Each guy was responsible for carrying a bag of 20 kilograms (44 pounds) and each girl was responsible for carrying a bag of 15 kilograms (33 pounds). We made our way across the road and were at the face of a very steep hill.

Before we knew it, we were instructed to turn in our watches so as to not know how long we would be working for and to go up the hill as fast as possible. Once we reached the top, we were told to go back down and back up until he said to stop. When we wanted water at the top, we still had to maintain control of the sandbags on our shoulders. Our success in this one was individually based only…helping others wasn’t an option and this made it very difficult. Some threw up, everyone was in pain, and finally we made our way down another trail as he said we were done. The only thing was, we weren’t…he instructed us that in the army, it’s not over until it’s over. Another few times up and down with the sand and then it was finally over. We had hoped we learned this lesson well.

At the beginning of the next week’s exercise (October 7), he told us it would be simple because it was before Yom Kippur and people had physical tests for the army coming up. We began running in the fields across from our kibbutz and we covered about 4 kilometers of ground in all while doing about 100 pushups and 60 sit-ups along the way. Then, like every week when we stop, we ate some food and got back in the car. But, in the end, I guess we didn’t learn our lesson from the week before – almost instantly, we stopped, were yelled at to get out of the car, and were ready to go with a stretcher full of about 60 kilograms (132 pounds). We continued with this another 4 kilometers or so and this was a very hard task. Once the brain shuts off the hard task we had of running, it’s hard to switch it back to carrying that weight for a long distance. I was happy I had a chance to feel this first hand, as I’m sure in the army things like will happen numerous times.

The next week (October 15), we began as we had many times before by carrying a stretcher with a lot of weight from sandbags. After finishing this time, we ran sprints and did crawling, and running to different points on the other side of the circle we were standing on. The only thing with all of these exercises was that our space kept getting smaller and smaller, therefore meaning we kept running into each other or crawling on top of each other. Our guide was trying to teach us to focus on the task, not always on other things going on around us.

The following week (October 22), only five of us showed up and our guide cancelled doing anything with us. He said if we weren’t serious as a group, then he wouldn’t do it with us because it wasn’t worth his time. We were all ready to go, however, so we decided to do our own. We were going to run to his kibbutz, get the stretcher and be ready, do whatever he then wanted, then run back. I felt really motivated for this since we were showing him and ourselves we were serious. Yet, I don’t think any of us realized what we were really doing.

It was a 5 kilometer run there and we decided once we got there we were going to surprise him at his house. We put our tallest man (who was trying out for the elite navy unit the following week) on the stretcher, weighing about 75 kilograms (165 pounds). We took a very long route to his house and had our man Gal on the stretcher for 40 minutes. We got to his house and were ready to go. The only thing was he was very busy so we returned the stretcher and ran back home another 5 kilometers. We had just run 10 kilometers and had all that weight on our shoulders for 40 minutes straight without a break. We had also proven to ourselves that we could handle a lot thrown our way.

The finale (October 29) had arrived. We knew for this one we would combine everything we had done and learned to complete the final task. We were going to be doing a pseudo mission. We were going to become the mifakdeem (commanders) and we were going to have to solve everything on our own.

First, we were told of the mission – stopping Arab terrorists by putting a barrier on the road and ambushing them. Then we were off. We used the telephone pole as our barrier and walked with it for about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Along the way we had to also try to get everyone over a ‘mine field’ with just the pole as our mode of transportation. There are no breaks with the pole and our shoulders were very much in pain.

Next we set up for the ambush. We camouflaged ourselves and the barrier and got ready to hide and attack. We lied still for 30 minutes and waited but never got our signal from our acting commander. I found it very neat, however, that we all kept our cool and quiet throughout the whole thing instead of messing up the ambush.

After that we quickly threw the pole into the bushes and picked up a stretcher with 80 kilograms on it. We went with this for 1 hour and 15 minutes and did so on very steep hills and muddy, thick plants. Although all of us were at the point of exhaustion, we knew ourselves well enough that we had a little something left in the tank. So when we had to run as fast as we could up a very steep incline after over four hours of physical work, we knew we would succeed, as long as we believed it and worked together. We finished it all and had made the end. Great food and coffee was at the end for us and we talked about the last two months of physicality we had just endured.

See, when it comes to the army, people must throw out their personal pride and substitute it with team and group unity. We had all learned something very valuable. Two weeks from today I’ll venture down to the south of Israel to begin basic training, essentially alone and scared and in shock. But that’s okay…because I have this to lean on amonth other things, knowing (as Stephen Curry, a basketball player from Davidson University says), “I can do all things.”

Combat is the Best - Part 1

October 29

Each Wednesday, our group does something that prepares us for the physicality that is to come in basic training in the army. It is called קרבי זה הכי – combat is the best. This is to test and gauge our mental and physical strength all while learning three of the army’s most important concepts – time, group work/cohesiveness, and הכל בראש, hakol b’rosh – everything is in your head. This is the first of a two-part account of each week’s events and what transpired.

The first week (August 20) we had our entire group with us and it was based around running and staying together. It was about three hours long and it doesn’t seem like it would be so difficult, but keeping 20+ girls and guys together as one is a big challenge. The main section was being given 12 minutes to run an unknown distance in groups of two to a place where our guides were waiting. During this exercise, I along with others even had to help carry people up the remainder of a hill just to make it on time. In the end, we were all winded but had completed something challenging and had done so together.

The second occasion (September 3) had a group that was dwindled down to nine. The advantage was that we could work together as a closer group. The disadvantage was that we did this run around with a stretcher (alunkah pronounced in Hebrew) and three sandbags on top. The weight was one thing, the shoulder pain was another. We all worked better this time around, even if we were given tasks that seem borderline crazy. One was running up a hill extremely steep with a person labeled as “injured” through brush and thorns. After falling multiple times and bleeding as well (and having to push some friends down the hill in order to make it on time), we did it, again together.

The next two times (September 10 and 17) our main guide was tending to a new daughter so one of the people who works with us on the kibbutz led the sessions. The first of these found us carrying people on our shoulders this time instead of a stretcher. The most interesting thing about this task is that a person really can carry any other person on their shoulders, regardless of the weight. It’s just another test of mental strength. The second time had only three of us involved in the activity so we went for a run in the hills behind our kibbutz. This was the most painful on my legs up to that point but even so: running 5-6 kilometers in the hills of the forest was an enjoyable break from bruised shoulders. Unfortunately, I had no idea what was in store for me.

One week later (September 24) we rejoined with our leader and, to say the least, he wasn’t really too pleased that only three of us were ready to participate the previous week. I don’t know if this changed the plan, but within minutes we found ourselves standing next to three telephone poles and we were being instructed to pick one up on our shoulders and be ready to carry it away. I can’t say I ever thought I’d do something like this – ever.

We started at a walking pace and then suddenly our leader stopped walking on the trail and headed up the side of a mountain. “Was he really doing this?” I thought to myself. No doubt he was. We had nine people carrying a telephone pole up the side of a mountain through thorns and barbed wire. It’s hard to describe what was going through my mind, but I switched my focus to the challenge at hand, as daunting as it seemed.

After about 45 minutes we finally made it to the top, battered and bruised, scratched and bleeding. If that hadn’t been enough, we walked down on a trail to a house about 15 feet in height. The task? To get the pole and everyone up the side of the house, walk on the roof to the other side, carry it more when we arrived back on the ground, then to descend it and everyone from a 10-foot drop off of a stair case. I smiled when I heard the instructions because, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t really that crazy – I along with my friends had just carried the pole up the mountain for crying out loud. We completed the assignment and all went home knowing we had just done something we could have never imagined doing; a feeling like that instills much self confidence and positive feelings into each person.

To be continued…

Tick, tock...Tanks

October 23

The clock is starting to tick. The feelings are getting stronger. The nerves are getting tenser. It’s all becoming more and more real. The army is now less than a month away and I couldn’t be more excited and scared at the same time.

About one week ago I received news that every 17 or 18 year old receives – a letter or phone call with one’s placement for the army. This will be the unit with whom I do basic training, advanced training, and beyond. Of course things can eventually change, but this will be the mainstay of my life for the next two years.

Starting on November 23, I will begin serving in a tank unit. Like many of the things that have happened or will happen to me here, I couldn’t have even pictured that as part of my future. Combat is going to be a part of me, regardless of what I begin to feel or other people’s opinions.

Yesterday, two girls from our group were the first to have their draft day and began their basic training. The army was no longer a distant thought within our group of friends, our family – it was real. They left the kibbutz in their uniforms with their huge bags and looks of angst and anticipation. We were all proud of them and could definitely feel a part of the group sink away with the thought of them leaving.

Just last week, I came into conversation with more Israelis about my situation here. It’s usually more on the, “Good luck!” side, but I also received the, “Are you crazy? Why did you come here?” questions. To the second set, it can be difficult to convince other people of why I made the decision I did. It has only been two months since I made the move here, but when it comes down to it, the only person I need to convince is myself.

Slowly but surely, we will all have our draft dates where we begin to be put through some amount of time of hell while eating dirt (for lack of a better word) and feeling utterly exhausted. I have days when I feel ready and anxious to start. I have others when I want to continue the life I have with kibbutz life, relaxing, and Hebrew learning. Either way, I have one more month of waiting; all I can do is try to mentally prepare while at the same time live my life as I know how – as me. The tanks are in my future. Living in the middle of the desert is in my future. Going home only every three weeks is as well. But, as Israelis say יהיה בסדר, yihiyeh b’seder – it will all be OK.

With the first pick in the 2008 Army Draft, Israel selects:

October 6, 2008

Yom Chiyul – יום חיול Becoming a Soldier

This was a day that could easily go down as one of the more exciting yet overwhelming days in my life. I was completely there mentally and physically while at the same time I was very lost. So much was going on around me and I was trying to take it all in while the big event was happening – October 6, 2008 is the day I became a soldier of the Israel Defense Forces

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The day started with something that seems to be a future commonality in the army where we waited around aimlessly for two hours waiting for the journey to start. Finally, at 8 AM, we set off in the opposite direction of our final destination in order to be separated into groups with other Garin groups; then we were to go to the location where the drafting takes place. There I received another envelope stipulating my service time and my status as a lone soldier. We were on our way.

After another long bus ride and more waiting around we made it into the base where the proceedings were going to be taking place. They yelled a little. They set forth some rules. Then it was down to some business.

It began slowly and calmly with giving them our banj account numbers so as to have the correct place to put our salaries once they really start. After I waited in line for some time (which would be a theme of the day), I got my picture taken that was to go on my army ID. I was photographed without my glasses and showed a quick, blatant sign of confusion when they said, “Profile” (it sounds almost the same in Hebrew as it does in English). I thought they meant my physical profile number I received. I awkwardly answered, “72,” until almost immediately the lady snapped back with a, “No. A profile picture – turn to the side.” I was hoping this would be the only time I would feel confused or lost. Other friends of mine, like Danny Fleischer, had an almost identical experience with this confusion so I felt better in that sense. But still…

Right after this I walked across the hall to get some pictures of the inside of my mouth. Next was back across the hall to get fingerprints of every part of both hands. The thing is, throughout this whole thing, nobody was explaining where to go or what to do next. I don’t think they expected us to be perfect but they sure didn’t seem to care to help so much. We had learned the day before about the army’s bureaucracy and it was very apparent. Station by station we went not knowing if it was the right place or the right time or if we were doing things correctly. However, as the army works, we just kept doing as we were and followed the few orders we had and continued.

Next I went through a corridor and found my way to a line for 360 x-rays of our teeth/mouth. Here again I missed the boat several times in directions given of what to do and had some misunderstandings which made things take longer. No worries, it wasn’t to the point of meriting punishment. Onward we went.

Following this I made my way to a short interview to make sure some information was correct. Then I went down the hall and around to get a blood sample for my DNA. While I was at it I registered to donate bone marrow. After the blood was drawn I had no idea where to go so I took a guess. Guess A wasn’t correct; good thing I guessed again and made it to the next station. I got a few shots in my arm. Harmless and hardly painful.

Next came the בלגן – balagan (meaning mess) which I had really anticipated. We received our boots, uniforms, and other things related to it in a huge bag. However, I was turned back because I missed a step that nobody directed me to do. After exchanging my shoes twice, my clothes once, and fiddling with a broken zipper on my bag, I was ready to rock and roll. The only thing is this is the army and the time doesn’t revolve around me – it revolved around them.

We sat and stood and screamed for no reason while in our uniforms. It felt really itchy and sweaty in those uniforms but really, really good at the same time. I looked like a legit soldier. That’s because at that moment I and the rest of my friends were soldiers. We took pictures, hugged, and just smiled. We had taken another step towards what we’re here for now. We already saw some benefits of the soldier deal as I got a free drink at a restaurant in my uniform. But this isn’t all fun and games and we know that. We are officially a part of the army and this will be life. Now we can hope this life path will be what we all dreamed of and more. Besides – we are Israeli soldiers after all. I like the sound of that.